Clown ballerinas embody male and female, high and low art, and serve as an alter ego for my own inner child. As a kid, I had an Emmett Kelly ventriloquist dummy that served as my personal psychoanalyst. He knew of my closeted desire to dance. I went into gymnastics instead, afraid of the bullying that would naturally follow a dance practice. Once in college, I took years of dance classes, and joined 2 community dance troupes and was a member of Cheer Dallas, the first all gay squad to compete in NCA competition.

Years later, I was delighted to discover Jonathan Borofsky’s Venice sculpture, Ballerina Clown when I moved to Venice, CA. This character has taken up residence in my imagination, and I’ve even masqueraded as him on quite a few occasions.

My cousin contacted me about commissioning a Lupita. I'd been wanting to experiment with water based oils, and this was the perfect opportunity. First came a slew of rough ideas on paper and collages on my iPad as to the imagery. Having to edit down to an image is always a challenge. As is sometimes the case, the big net of ideas is edited down to the basic elements, to keep the piece authentic and elegant. I settled on a simple layout and focused in on the detail that I wanted to illustrate.

The painting begins! For me, it's an exercise in allowing. Mistakes happen. This occurred a few times on this piece. Sometimes remove the portion while it is wet. At another point I painted over existing elements with white and started again. Even worse than dealing with mistakes is when something lovely happen on the wood and I have to push myself to keep going and manage the anxiety of losing what you are already happy with on the piece in order to move forward. Regardless, at this point there is enough faith in the process to see a piece through without abandoning it when you hit a challenge - technical, aesthetic, or inspirational.

At the end of this process, you come away with a little more knowledge or technique (I can scratch the surface of the work with the handle end of the paintbrush to get the level of detail I can't get with a brush?! cool!) and an artifact of your work. But its the time spent on the work itself, rather than the artifact that I'm after these days.

Thank you for supporting that work!